Last week I was served a notice that I was being sued by my previous employer for breach of contract. They claimed I was in violation of an agreement I’d signed with them by being employed with my new employer, which I was. I obviously didn’t realize this at the time of getting hired, but after reading through all the paperwork, I realized I was in the wrong. Even though the lawyer on my end said he felt confident we could win the case, it would most likely mean a long legal battle that if lost, would bankrupt me.   

So I quit my new job and they dropped the lawsuit. 

And now I’m home. ((Long sigh)) 

Remember how I talked about being okay with change? Well it’s been very pertinent for me as of late. A few weeks ago I suddenly felt that I should quit my job with my new employer and chase after my Learning to Come Alive business. This made no logical sense to me as it would cut our income in half and I’d have to bring my kids home from a really good situation with the new nanny. Besides, I liked my job. Well, knock, knock, knock. Here’s your lawsuit.

I have a new vigor for LTCA and I’m doing a lot of writing, but being in the house, taking care of kids again, and looking forward to my daily Starbucks trips so I can be around people, has put a damper on my psyche. I am the same person I was a week ago, but already I feel weaker and more vulnerable. I feel guilty having my husband do things around the house, and I struggle with the meaning of life a lot more. My confidence has taken a hit.

It would be idealistic to say that it’s possible to be so sure and confident, that circumstances won’t affect you, but they do. What you wear, who you’re in contact with, and the environment around you makes a huge difference. That’s why I cover environment in the Evaluation. Because neglecting it can have a serious affect on your ability to come alive.

Knowing I need to prioritize my environment is pushing me to look into co-working offices in downtown San Diego. It would mean taking precious resources and time that could be saved by working from home, and using them on what I could consider an unnecessary luxury. But it is necessary. Belief is one of the key ingredients to success, so nurturing belief is worth doing.

Yesterday I ran across this TED talk by Amy Cuddy, about body language and it’s effect on the human psyche. It was extremely pertinent to the concept that circumstances do matter, so I thought I’d share it with you here. Amy talks about how just sitting in a dominant position for a mere 2 minutes, can actually affect testosterone and cortisone levels that will give you the confidence to take more risk and be more of a leader. Whereas the opposite happens when you sit in a fearful position. 2 minutes! It’s an interesting and eye opening video and worth the time to watch.

What do you think? Do circumstances matter to you? What’s your experience?

-Tara

 absolutelytara.com

2 thoughts on “Circumstances Matter”

  1. Environment does have a great impact on our psyche, but we don’t always have to succumb to it. Self-awareness give me the ability to have the freedom to act towards my environment–something I am having to learn here in Uganda when the culture imposes on me the pressure to conform. I find myself fighting against the things that offend me. I sometimes wonder how much I have changed because of it; for the better or worse?

    1. So in that way, maybe your environment is helping you to know better who you are because you’re pushed to the point of fighting back. Thanks for sharing!

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