It’s seems like a simple thing. “Just love yourself already!” she said.
But is it really that simple?
I mean, can we just look inside, discover who we are, and jump right into acceptance?
For those of you who’ve tried, you know it’s much more complicated than that.
You know that it’s much easier to self loathe than to self love, and that even when you do find traits you secretly adore, you feel like you should add subtext.
“Sure, I love myself, but that’s probably because I’m ignoring those other things…”
Now there’s some irony for ya.
You’ve finally gotten past all those criticizing faces, and character ideals of who you’re supposed to be. You’ve let go of the boundaries you placed on yourself, and convinced your heart to cough up the goods. And then when it does, and you love all the dirty details, you feel guilty.
Why do we feel wrong about loving ourselves? We don’t just feel wrong for loving the “bad” parts, we feel wrong for loving the good parts as well.
I’ll never forget a comment from a woman who attended one of my conferences a few years back. I’d spent hours talking about supposed tos, emotions, and how to free yourself from the past, and the one thing I’d said that impacted her, was that I love myself.
I had repeatedly and unashamedly said aloud, “I love who I am.”
And she was right. That was the important part. It took a LOT for me to be able to say that, and it deserved it’s own place in the spotlight.
There’s a stigma in our culture that says loving ourselves is wrong. That it’s somehow cocky or prideful, and should be hidden at all costs.
How fucked up is that?
You are amazing and it’s okay to know that. In fact, loving yourself is so wonderful, it’s worth spending a lifetime fighting for. It’s worth sacrificing relationships, giving up fruitful careers, and changing beliefs for. It’s worth everything.
And when you reach the point where you can FINALLY tell yourself on the inside that you love who you are, I think you need to be able to say it on the outside as well.
I love myself!
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Go ahead. Do it.
Your words may just give someone else permission to do the same.
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