If you had been there when my hair was cut you would have seen it: my self confidence walking boldly out the front door.

It was an hour before our first photo shoot with YouCoached. The one that was to provide content for our web page and help to brand our service. This is a photo from that shoot:

Tara Schiller Life Coach

You’re probably thinking, “That doesn’t look bad Tara. You’re overreacting.” That’s what everyone around me said. 

But I walked into my house after the shoot and my 14-year-old daughter looked at me and exclaimed, “What did they do to your hair?! You look ten years older!”


For a week after my cut I would cry every night. I cried because I knew that the last shred of self-confidence I was desperately holding onto was slipping out of my hands, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I know that sounds extreme, but let me explain. 

I’m an extrovert. And a business woman. Fiercely independent and fast paced. When I was a child I used to dream about going to boarding school so I could be out with people and friends all the time. I was never the kid crying at summer camp from being homesick.

I love fashion, fun, business, traveling, lively intellectual discussions, and insignificant shallow chattering. 

But right now I have to put myself out there in a big way. I’m presenting to investors, hiring people and being their boss, and learning to fight for my vision with all the creatives and programmers around me.

I also work from home and sit at my desk 8-10 hours a day. All my communication is digital, except on photography days, and I get out of the house basically for coffee. Sometimes I work at the coffee shop to be around people, but their chairs are hard and I can only linger so long.

I also have four children. To clarify, my personality (ENTJ) is statistically the least likely to stay home with their children or be domestic in any way, shape, or form. And it’s hard to feel young and hot when you have teenage kids telling you you’re old and out-dated, even though you’re only 33 and all your peers are in their prime. 

So, fighting all these against-the-grain circumstances has taken a toll on me and my hair being cut was the straw that broke me. Dan says it was like Samson.

Enter Nicci Gaona, the hair and makeup stylist at YouCoached. During our consultation for the YouCoached commercial (that you are going to love!), she looked at me and said, “I can put extensions into your hair if you want me to. That’s what I do for actresses.” 

!!!!!!!! Really?

And that’s just what she did. Here’s a lovely photo breakout of what she did:

Selfies I've Taken Since Then

Yep, I’m pretty much selfie happy right now. With short hair, I never took selfies. 

But the amazing thing is, after my hair was done I felt confident in other areas of my life that seemed to have nothing to do with looks. My business, my humor, my athletic ability. 

And I had this moment where I realized that what I’m doing at YouCoached makes so much sense.

Personal growth is more than meditating, or being grateful, or thinking positive. It’s about taking all those little things that affect you and making them right. Because everything affects everything. Sometimes you need deep emotional therapy, at other times you need hair extensions and a cute outfit, and sometimes you need to just feel like you’ve got your sh*t together overall. 

Either way, as much as we don’t want to admit it, circumstances matter. My hair reminded me of that, and why I’m doing what I’m doing, so we decided to cover hair extensions in the Hair and Makeup Coaching segment of YouCoached. Win win for everyone.




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