I’m sorry you had to worry, and be afraid… and embarrassed.
I’m sorry you had to be uncomfortable.
That you lost the respect of your peers because of me.
I’m sorry you had to watch me cry and wonder if I’d be okay.
That you had to question whether it was something you did, and wonder if only you’d done something different.
I’m sorry I was mean and uncaring.
That I thought only of myself.
I’m sorry I ruined the dream in your head of what you thought you were giving me.
I can see that now that I’m older.
Because I’m sorry she’s sad.
I wish I’d given her more than empty promises.
That I’d remembered her beauty wouldn’t be understood by them, and kept her out of their reach.
That I’d done so much more with the little time I had to show her she’s beautiful to me.
I wish I could hold her until all the pain went away.
Until her insecurities vanished and she remembered her name.
I wish I’d kept her from all her enemies.
Housed accurate mirrors around the house.
That I’d ruled the world and changed all the policies, just so she could have a place in it.
That she’d been able to dance with the fairies.
She deserves everything, her pure wonderful heart.
But she has to live, and I have to see. Just like you did with me.
And I’m sad because I want so badly for it to all go away.
To have a solution that’s easily defined.
But I can’t.
And you couldn’t.
And everything is slipping.
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