Stomach grinding, turning in on itself.
Hope rising, only to be shut down again.
I want to believe…
I want to think I am invisible and fearless.
I want to forget the pain that’s made me bitter.
My heart is slow to begin again.
My brain is sure I’m delusional.
Secretly, I dream of a better day.
I’ll rise again.
Keep it secret and pretend it doesn’t exist.
Make it go away, but don’t let it quite out of reach.
Heavy breathing, heart rate rising.
Stop talking! I don’t want to know.
Blind me to my dreams.
They are bigger than my belief.
Walk blindly in my movements.
Stare at the ground.
No. Forget I saw it.
There is nothing that can soothe me.
Time. It is my enemy
And I write with my pen.