It would be fabulous if we had full access to our heart all the time. In fact, I’d love an in-depth instruction manual on navigating the inner workings (no matter how boring), if it meant I would be able to make decisions that lined up with what my heart wanted on a constant basis. But this is not how it works, is it?

Instead, we make perfectly logical decisions that we commit ourselves to, only to end up slowly turning grey in life, wondering what happened, because we thought we were doing what we wanted, but we’re dead inside now.  

That’s how it usually works. But we’re not doomed, I promise.

There are ways to alleviate some of the pain in this process, and one of those ways is by trying on hats. 

Each hat is a decision. You try it on, deciding to move forward with it, and then you see how you react. Are you up all night with excitement, writing down ideas, and making detailed plans, or are you suddenly depressed and you don’t know why? Are you angry and short with others, or do you feel like you love everyone who passes by? How do you feel about yourself? These emotions are all clues.

Decisions are like hats. Try them on, see how you feel in them, and then act. Click To Tweet

Many times our idea seems so logically wonderful, that we don’t realize the emotional reaction we’re having has to do with the decision we just made. We just assume it must be something else causing it. Or we do realize it’s the decision, but our pride won’t let us admit we need to go back on what we said we were going to do. 

It goes the other way as well, we may be completely excited about something, and then someone or something comes along and talks us out of it with “sound logic” and we are suddenly depressed. But we won’t let the old idea back in, because it’s been explained away so it couldn’t possibly be a good idea.    

However, when you adopt the idea of trying on hats, you are giving yourself permission to change your mind based on how your heart reacts. 

The heart is not logical, so this can get confusing sometimes. We think, “But this makes so much sense!,” and so we don’t trust our heart. Then we end up miserable down the road. 

But the heart knows what it’s doing. It knows who we are at the very center of it all, and it makes decisions based off of that truth, not the logical decisions we make in our limited understanding of things. By trying on hats, you are prioritizing your heart over your reputation. 

I have gotten used to making decisions this way, and it has helped me tremendously. I’ve realized that my mind can even get really excited about an idea, brainstorming all the different ways to implement it, but my heart will begin to get sad. I usually fight it at first because my mind is so happy (it can get excited about almost anything if it holds enough fodder to keep it busy), but my heart needs the projects to be right for me. And that is what matters if we want to live an alive life. It has to fit us. 

Trying on hats is a great way to grant yourself permission to make sure your life fits you, and it’s a great way to get in touch with what your heart truly wants. Give it a try. And if you need to shift some things around, that is perfectly okay. Remember, the best thing you can offer the world is an alive version of yourself, so do what you need to do in order to make that happen, no matter what the logical reasoning is. You won’t regret it.


The idea of trying on hats must be credited to my cousin, who first mentioned it to me a few years ago. I thought it was a fabulous idea and have used it ever since. Thanks Maria! 

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One thought on “The Art Of Trying On Hats…Or How to Make Decisions That Line Up With Your Heart”

  1. You are so sweet Tara :) I’m so glad it has been a useful tool. It has worked wonders in my life also. Enjoy this beautiful day!

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