When this week’s Friday Reflections prompt was, “Would you ever consider plastic surgery?,” I knew I had to chime in. This is a topic that has been on my mind quite a bit, and I’ve often wondered how to approach it publicly as it’s such a debated issue.
It’s funny, because my mantra is finding your True Self, so you’d think I would present myself entirely in my “natural” state. In other words, I’d reject all projections of a false self. Things like makeup, fancy cars, and especially plastic surgery. But that is not what I mean when I say True Self.
When I say to be your “True Self” I want you to figure out who you really are, and then use whatever props you need in order to play out that role. Because as much as we want to pretend it isn’t true, circumstances matter.
One of the pitfalls that can keep us from our true selves, is when we become aware of a cultural influence, like the media’s idea of the perfect woman, we feel a need to rebel against it in order to not be influenced by it. But all we end up creating is a counter culture that is just as much a result of the media’s influence as if we’d bought right into it in the first place. It still has nothing to do with how we really feel about things, but rather is a case of rebellion that is caging us nonetheless.
So we have to take out the media’s eyeballs, and ask ourselves one simple question, “What do I want?”We have to let go of their eyes and ask ourselves, 'What do I want?' Click To Tweet
The turning point in my own decision to get a tummy tuck came when I happened upon an article one day that displayed before and after pictures of tummy tuck patients. Until that point I’d been back and forth on the subject, even having gone to a consultation once and backing out. (Which was fortunate because I had another baby after that.) The article mentioned unrepairable damages a woman’s body goes through after a baby that no amount of Pilates, vegetables, and running could make right again.
And as I combed the pictures, I began to get emotional, because at that moment I realized I had an underlying and constant nag in me that felt that if I just did more, I’d be able to fix my stomach. But this article was showing me that my stomach wasn’t a messy stretched out piece of my body because I wasn’t trying hard enough, but simply because that’s what happens when you have four children. It just is what it is. (Especially when you gain 60 lbs with each pregnancy.) It won’t just go back together.
I know the next argument is that I should love my stomach and think of it as a beautiful reminder that I’ve given life to four amazing children, but that’s just not how I feel. It’s not my truth. If anything, it makes me resent them a little bit. I love feeling attractive, and my confidence level in all areas of my life is really affected by how I feel about my appearance. Hell, just straightening my hair changes my entire mood, and I want to look nice in a bikini. I don’t want to be defined by my motherhood. I want a chance to be just me.
I am constantly aware of my stomach and the fact that it hangs when I bend over, no matter how thin and in shape I am, and so I’m constantly trying to hide it in some way, shape, or form. I would LOVE to fix that. And I don’t feel the need to carry any more “momness” around with me than I already do.
So, when I have saved up enough money to do so, I will be heading to that plastic surgeon’s office and telling him to fix me up. And I’m not ashamed of that at all. And you don’t need to be either. It doesn’t make you shallow to want to look good. Being fake and lying to people makes you shallow. And if you truly don’t feel good about the idea of plastic surgery, it doesn’t mean you don’t care about how you look, or love how you look. We’re all different, and that’s okay. I love who I am, and I want you to love who you are as well.
What do you think? Would you ever have plastic surgery? And if so, what would you do?
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