When this week’s Friday Reflections prompt was, “Would you ever consider plastic surgery?,” I knew I had to chime in. This is a topic that has been on my mind quite a bit, and I’ve often wondered how to approach it publicly as it’s such a debated issue.

It’s funny, because my mantra is finding your True Self, so you’d think I would present myself entirely in my “natural” state. In other words, I’d reject all projections of a false self. Things like makeup, fancy cars, and especially plastic surgery. But that is not what I mean when I say True Self.

When I say to be your “True Self” I want you to figure out who you really are, and then use whatever props you need in order to play out that role. Because as much as we want to pretend it isn’t true, circumstances matter

One of the pitfalls that can keep us from our true selves, is when we become aware of a cultural influence, like the media’s idea of the perfect woman, we feel a need to rebel against it in order to not be influenced by it. But all we end up creating is a counter culture that is just as much a result of the media’s influence as if we’d bought right into it in the first place. It still has nothing to do with how we really feel about things, but rather is a case of rebellion that is caging us nonetheless.

So we have to take out the media’s eyeballs, and ask ourselves one simple question, “What do want?”

We have to let go of their eyes and ask ourselves, 'What do I want?' Click To Tweet

The turning point in my own decision to get a tummy tuck came when I happened upon an article one day that displayed before and after pictures of tummy tuck patients. Until that point I’d been back and forth on the subject, even having gone to a consultation once and backing out. (Which was fortunate because I had another baby after that.) The article mentioned unrepairable damages a woman’s body goes through after a baby that no amount of Pilates, vegetables, and running could make right again. 

And as I combed the pictures, I began to get emotional, because at that moment I realized I had an underlying and constant nag in me that felt that if I just did more, I’d be able to fix my stomach. But this article was showing me that my stomach wasn’t a messy stretched out piece of my body because I wasn’t trying hard enough, but simply because that’s what happens when you have four children. It just is what it is. (Especially when you gain 60 lbs with each pregnancy.) It won’t just go back together.

I know the next argument is that I should love my stomach and think of it as a beautiful reminder that I’ve given life to four amazing children, but that’s just not how I feel. It’s not my truth. If anything, it makes me resent them a little bit. I love feeling attractive, and my confidence level in all areas of my life is really affected by how I feel about my appearance. Hell, just straightening my hair changes my entire mood, and I want to look nice in a bikini. I don’t want to be defined by my motherhood. I want a chance to be just me. 

I am constantly aware of my stomach and the fact that it hangs when I bend over, no matter how thin and in shape I am, and so I’m constantly trying to hide it in some way, shape, or form. I would LOVE to fix that. And I don’t feel the need to carry any more “momness” around with me than I already do. 

So, when I have saved up enough money to do so, I will be heading to that plastic surgeon’s office and telling him to fix me up. And I’m not ashamed of that at all. And you don’t need to be either. It doesn’t make you shallow to want to look good. Being fake and lying to people makes you shallow. And if you truly don’t feel good about the idea of plastic surgery, it doesn’t mean you don’t care about how you look, or love how you look. We’re all different, and that’s okay. I love who I am, and I want you to love who you are as well. 

What do you think? Would you ever have plastic surgery? And if so, what would you do?

This is a Friday Reflections Link Up with Janine @ Reflections From a Redhead and Mackenzie @ Reflections From Me. Join the link up and share in the conversation.


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10 thoughts on “Why I Plan to Get a Tummy Tuck And That’s Okay”

  1. Hi Tara – just found your blog from Debbie’s link – I couldn’t agree more with you about it being your choice to look and feel good. I had two enormous babies and have a mummy pooch to show for them – I also have ski slope boobs from post-breast feeding. I’d love to tidy it all up but have learnt to live with it & avoid bikinis! Go for it if you can afford it is what I’d advise!

    1. Haha. I hear ya Leanne. Just yesterday my 3 year old was pointing to my stomach and asking what happened. He looked so worried about me. I told him it was from having babies and he rubbed the skin to make it feel better. They don’t lie. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Strength to you Tara. Thanks for being so honest and open. You are so right – either way you approach it, it’s nothing to be ashamed about.

  3. I agree Tara. A week after giving birth I discovered I’d never wear my pre-pregnancy clothes again. Nobody mentioned that my body wouldn’t ping back into shape. I had no idea that I’d have a jelly-belly for the rest of my life. I have 40 more pounds to lose and then I’m having my baby pouch removed. I love my kids, but carrying around a saggy tummy as a badge of motherhood isn’t my idea of fun, I have the grey hair for that ;).

    1. Haha. I’ve had 4 children and with every one, I am always surprised at how my body looks after giving birth. You’d think I would have figured it out by now. I will say, however, that it usually takes about a year for your body to bounce back, and that it DOES get better than the “after baby” state, but there is definitely an after effect either way.

  4. It’s not that I would rule it out, I just don’t feel any need right now as I am happy with myself. I think in regards to post baby tummy I was lucky with my 3 children I only ever put on 10 kilograms, and my breasts didn’t really change. My tummy is not as tight or flat, but I’m OK with it. For me it’s getting wrinkles that bothers me more, so I would consider surgery if I felt it was for me. Plus if it was in my budget! We’ll see. Great post though and I love your attitude towards it. I think I would only be against plastic surgery when people take it too far. Thanks for linking up, and congrats on being our featured writer. #Friday Reflections.

    1. Lucky you on the 10 kilo thing. My mother got absolutely no stretch marks with her pregnancies and never had an unattractive stomach afterwards, but I didn’t inherit those genes! I got the other side of the family. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. Very inspiring Tara. We have to do what think it is best for us. I feel uncomfortable with all the pressure about what is right. Loving oneself is following the heart no matter what others think (as long as we are not causing pain to ourselves and others).
    Go for it, girl!

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